Ken-tuck-EEE. I can almost say it like a local now. And we know some other local idiosyncrasies too. Like the ‘s’ is silent in Louisville, but pronounced in St Louis, even though both cities are named after the same French king. But I’ve jumped ahead of myself.

After leaving Canada, we hung out in a couple of state parks as we made our way south. One was a meticulously kept affair, complete with a specially stocked kids’ fishing pond (stocked with fish, not kids). The other was a large, friendly campground surrounded by a giant tangle of a Hansel & Gretel forest called Hueston woods. I had previously bought some compasses at Walmart (not recommended if your life will depend on them) because I wanted to teach the kids to navigate. At Hueston Woods, we found a cool orienteering pack at the registration desk, which I snapped up. I took the two oldest and we ranged all over the woods, following trails, taking short cuts, hacking weeds to find markers, and generally having more adventure than any other campers have had in their jandals for a long time.

But we had detoured this far south for friends in Louisville, so we pushed on for some city time. The highlight of Louisville was finding our way into the Fall Festival at the Southern Baptist Seminary (a university for pastors, if that needs translating). We’re on a pretty tight budget for the trip, so we tend to be quite wary about splashing out much. But to our surprise, we discovered the whole festival was free and the kids got to go crazy on all the cotton candy, thick shakes, and festival rides they wanted. It was so cool to not worry about money for an evening. Due to a moral conviction about not wasting food, I found myself eating all sorts of yummy things that the kids couldn’t finish and that I wouldn’t let them bin. This worked for everyone until I made the mistake of going with the kids on a ride named “The Hurricane” or some other obviously-it-spins-around-lots kind of name. By sheer will power alone I kept it all in, but I was toast for the rest of the night.

Sad to be leaving friends again, we turned west for St Louis, which is the way we’ll be facing pretty much to the end of the road trip now.

Along the way, we discovered Lewis and Clark, two guys who dwarfed our road trip efforts. Some time prior our arrival, the US Government had bought the land between the Mississippi to the Rockies (roughly) from the French, who had bought it from the Spanish. Known as the Louisiana Purchase, nobody knew what was in the land, although it wasn’t considered valuable ($15M) because it included North Dakota. Lewis and Clark were commissioned to lead a small team of men off the edge of the known map, with no further support available. Two years and four months later, they returned from the wilderness a success. Not only had they mapped a trade route through the new land all the way to the West Coast, but they had claimed a huge additional area of land that no one had to pay for. We’ve only managed five months, had to rely on a GPS, and couldn’t find any land for free except Detroit City.

When we got there, the city of St Louis was an unexpected treasure trove. We came for the St Louis Gateway Arch, the tallest monument in America. It commemorates not just Lewis and Clark but everyone else who went west after them, and it called to us too. But we also discovered a wonderful zoo and the best science centre I’ve ever seen, both free. The science centre was so good, we went back twice, AND I got to teach the kids what a catenary arch is. [full disclosure, I’ve only been in two science centres, and only one kid can vaguely remember what catenary means now]

This ends our time east of the mid-west. The geography keeps changing, and each change means we’re closer to the end our road trip. We’re leaving rolling, green countryside for the wide open prairies. Westward-ho!

From the “Only in America” file, and also the “What to do when your pickup isn’t big enough” file – Michigan.

Spider-dogs, as taught by a ranger. We think they’re awesome cos they have heaps of extra crispyness – Maumee Bay State Park, Ohio.

We fished in a kids-only giant pond (1 fish per kid limit). Joella caught this whopper but we threw it back in pity – Maumee Bay State Park, Ohio.

There was a cool climbing tree in our campground and Joella enjoyed showing the others how to get to the tippy top – Hueston Woods State Park, Ohio.

We bumped into this little guy while we were out orienteering. We have no clue when it comes to snakes, so we just have to be careful with them all – Hueston Woods State Park, Ohio.

The kids decided on a shortcut to get to an orienteering waypoint. At this point, we’ve found the creek is crossable, and the question is which way now? And, yes, we’re all wearing jandals [aka flip flops] – Hueston Woods State Park, Ohio.

A replica of the river boat that was used for the first upstream leg of the expedition by the Lewis and Clark Discovery Corp to find a trade route to the West Coast – Camp River Dubois, Illinois.

Barges and tow boat leaving the Melvin Price Locks and Dam, on the Mississippi. The locks are sized so that there is about 1m clearance either side when the raft is three barges wide. In the lower reaches of the Mississippi, where they don’t need locks, the rafts can get up to 30 barges. The dam maintains the river at a minimum depth of 3m, otherwise it would only be about 1.2m deep in the upper reaches, which is why the old steam boats look so wide and flat – Alton, Illinois.

What would a Fall Festival be without candy floss? – Southern Baptist Seminary, Louisville, Kentucky.

The grin says it all! – Southern Baptist Seminary, Louisville, Kentucky.

Joella trying to ring the bell, but it’s harder than it looks! – Fall Festival at the Southern Baptist Seminary, Louisville, Kentucky.

I’m not sure if we are showing our respects, but we made the effort to support the good Colonel’s business legacy. In NZ, he just feels like a marketing logo, but turns out there is a real person and family behind the brand – Colonel Harland Sander’s grave, Cave Hill Cemetery, Louisville, Kentucky.

A fall leaf suspended in flight by a spider’s web – Cave Hill Cemetery, Louisville.

There were giant water fountains the boys had been under in Cherokee Park but it was better fun to make their own water feature – Louisville, Kentucky.

It was hot so we walked/rode an old railway bridge from Kentucy to Indiana, across the Ohio River, to get frozen yoghurts. Yum! – Jeffersonville, Indiana.

The passengers didn’t always seem that interested in peddling the paddles – Shelbyville Park, Kentucky.

Nothing like being on the water to put a smile on your face, even if it is only in a paddle boat – Shelbyville State Park, Kentucky.

Troy having fun casting 60 ft shadows as we settle down for the evening in a Walmart carpark – Woodriver, Illinois.

I can’t tell if we’re learning to appreciate simple pleasures, or just getting desparate, but a cardboard box and some evening sun is all you need to have fun in a Walmart carpark – Woodriver, Illinois.

I guess the downtown area is central to everywhere – St Louis, Missouri.

The gang on their way to visit the Arch – St Louis, Missouri.

Me looking shiney on our way to visit the Arch – St Louis, Missouri.

Scenes from visiting the St Louis Arch and historic court house – St Louis, Missouri.

We haven’t just travelled West, but the Arch makes a nice metaphor for our trip as a family too – St Louis, Missouri.

Scenes from visiting the St Louis Arch and historic court house – St Louis, Missouri.

The view from the top of the St Louis Arch. It’s only 192m down, which should give enough time for a few last minutes thoughts if you fell – St Louis, Missouri.

Looking up into the rotunda of the old Courthouse – St Louis, Missouri.

Both sides of the glass checking each other out – St Louis Zoo, Missouri.

One of the polar bears taking a dip – St Louis Zoo, Missouri.

Working together to build an arch of their own – St Louis Science Centre, Missouri.

The coolest interactive sandpit I’ve ever seen, complete with dynamic contours projected onto the sand, and the option to add rainfall and create floods. It’s like a modellers dream come true – St Louis Science Centre, Missouri.

We stumbled onto an empty LAN game of Flight Simulator, just waiting for pilots. We had greate fun trying to crash into each other. Kyla was just a little too young but Troy could fly his Cessna through the St Louis Arch quite happily without crashing – St Louis Science Centre, Missouri.

Driving into the setting sun, somewhere west of St Louis.